The sun will rise

Dear Journal,

Lately, my sensitivity has grown even sharper. And with it, emotional waves have overwhelmed me and neuromuscular dysfunctions have held me back. Once again, I felt insecure. And deep down I was lacking something essential to my balance: faith. Or rather, it was as if my soul could no longer find the way to my heart. Like a diversion for roadworks with the signs pointing the wrong way, and you get lost.

I kept listening to my intuition all the same, and Life brought me new experiences, I met new people and new doors opened. I received and I gave. The ember became a flame again, on an unexplored level. At the start of this month, I wrote in my newsletter that February was the month of purification… I had no idea then that I would live it with such intensity.

Tests of faith happen throughout our lives… Am I in my place? Is it right for me to act this way? Am I capable of it? I am surrounded by wonderful people who believe in me, in my success, sometimes perhaps more than I do. That is natural: they do not have my fears, because my fears are within me. It is my heart that their darkness blinds and slows. Faith, in the end, is feeling carried by something greater than ourselves, and letting ourselves go with it even when we can only partly see.

When we lose it, we begin to drown in a rough sea of doubts and fears. It is truly uncomfortable, because we find ourselves in the middle of the ocean in the dead of night, unable to glimpse a distant lighthouse showing us the way. We try to get back to the safety of dry land, in vain. And then, in a thousandth of a second, we decide to stop looking at the horizon and look at the sky instead, and there we realise that above us the Shepherd’s Star had been showing us the way from the very beginning.

Venus, goddess of Love who shines in the sky and in our hearts. Since the dawn of time you have guided and accompanied us when the day departs. And even if, in the darkness, I sometimes drift away from you again, I know that the sun will always rise.

✦