The shepherd of Love

Dear Journal,

I have always had an immense need for freedom and acted accordingly. Or so I believed. That is why I chose this life as an entrepreneur. To be free with my time, my actions, my choices. But is that really freedom? In a world where, in business, the goal is a number rather than a feeling, how can we be free within ourselves?

For a long time I chased precise goals. Reaching a figure, giving so many treatments, getting more contracts… as if to tell myself: “Great, Thomas, what you are setting up is working, you are on the right path.” Sometimes the results exceed my expectations, and sometimes the goals are not reached. Of course life is made of what we call success and failure, but I have the feeling of being a prisoner of these results.

In the end, what matters most? Reaching my goals as an entrepreneur, or the love shared with my brothers and sisters? Both are obviously possible; I just think the cursor is not always on the right side. On the side of what my soul truly came looking for. So I submit to the rules of a game created by humans, instead of submitting to the rules of Life. That is how I become locked inside my fears.

These fears are only the exaggeration of beliefs and old wounds; in a sense, they are the path laid out towards exploring my depths. Fear does not prevent danger, of course, but for a long time it allowed us to survive. Some integrated it long ago and decided to become shepherds of fear. And that is how we currently find ourselves prisoners of a system whose values are drifting further and further from those of our ancestors.

When it settles within us, fear influences our actions and our thoughts. Yet when it leaves and emptiness comes in, we understand that only Love remains. That immeasurable force that gives every seed the chance to become a flower. In that emptiness I found my path again, that of a shepherd of Love.

✦